What I want when I die...

Where Sarah recites her deepest most personal thoughts for all to read....
Having been to a lot of funerals in the last little while I've put a little thought on what I want done to my body after death.  If you are easily offended by the mocking of death, read no further.  Although I'm dead serious about being taxidermed, I really want any one concerned to realize that although I'm fully agreeable to being sold, I want to be certain that i will not be sold into the ever popular sex industry, be it pornographic movies, a personal love doll, or even a store mascot dressed in kinky clothing.  Come on people! That is sick.  I hope to live to 80 years old.  How could anyone do that to my 80 year old taxidermed body?

My final Dying Wish.... (Aug 20 2002)

DEAR ALL CONCERNED:

Based on the certainty of the fact that we cannot choose when we die; Herein lies my "Last Will and Testament".

All my belongings go to the one friend or relative who fufills my last dying wish.... (and if I have very few belongings, please do this anyway).

My Dying Wish
When i die I would like no funeral. Instead i want a big party in which there are Kegs, Large Kegs of beer. and plenty of alcoholic beverages, and for the kiddies, hot fudge sundaes.

I would like to be taxidermed and have my hand mechanized. This will come in handy so that everyone entering my party (and I'm hoping for a lot of people) will be able to shake my hand one final time. Please note that in order to come into the party, they must shake my hand (protective gloves can be worn).

Really the idea is ingenious, it allows me to attend a party in which i am the guest of honour.

So what is to be done with my body after the funeral you ask? Well I have a slighty morbid, but humorous money making scheme.

THe Scheme
My body is to go to the one person who is willing to use my body to start an attraction called "Sarah's House of the Dead" or something to that nature. The idea is that I can be at the front entrance or lobby and wave at people as they arrive (a small change in the mechanization can allow this). A speaker could also be put into my body so that I might be able to greet them with a friendly "Hello".

I beleive firmly that as the attraction becomes more popular, other people will donate their bodies as well. Thus increasing the scope and size of the attraction. It might become the new fad in after death options.... See ya later cremation.... Hello Taxidermi!

A positive side to this is that people could visit with their relatives long after their death. Recorded messages could be prepared and implanted so that the deceased can share words of wisdom with their loved ones... or tell them off I suppose. Imagine the extent that family reunions could go....

Failing this extensive plan, for my funeral i want to be packed in ice with drinks put around me. The drinks are unlimited, and people are encouraged to drink heartily. The importance of alcohol in the plan cannot be expressed enough.